home | about/terms | contact | index | site map

index examples

acronyms and abbreviations for learning and fun

bloom's taxonomy of learning domains

body language - theory, signals, meanings

brainstorming - process and tips

business process modelling

career change planner tool and template

cliches, expressions and words origins

david grove's clean language methodology

diagrams and other free tools

emotional intelligence (EQ)

experiential learning - and guide to facilitating experiential activities

'fantasticat' concept - for teaching and motivating young people

the four temperaments (four humours)

funny free posters

games, tricks, puzzles and warm ups for groups

games and exercises for team building

more games and exercises for team building

group selection recruitment method

hans eysenck's personality types theory

hrd performance evaluation

interviews

interviews - group selection method

interview presentations - how to prepare and deliver

job interviews - tips, techniques, questions, answers

johari window model and free diagrams

jung's psychological types

keirsey's personality types theory (temperament sorter model)

kirkpatrick's learning evaluation model

leadership tips

love and spirituality at work

mcclelland's achievement-motivation theory

management and business quiz - 50 test questions for fun (mostly)

motivational posters

william moulton marston's DISC personality theory (Inscape, Thomas Int., etc)

myers briggs personality theory and mbti types indicator

personality theories, models and types

pest market analysis - free template

posters - free, funny, motivational, inspirational

presentations at job interviews

puzzles and games for team building and warm-ups

puzzles answers

puzzles and conundrums - complex

quizballs - free questions and answers for quizzes

recruitment process and principles - attracting high quality staff

role playing and role play games process and tips

sales activator® sales training and development games system

self-employment planner template - finding what you can succeed at

self-help and self-esteem

stress and stress management

swot analysis - free template and examples

team building games and activities - free ideas, exercises

video clips for teaching and training

workshops - format and how to run

See main subjects index for more materials, ideas and resources.

i am

relaxation and scripts for self-help, personal change and fulfilment

I deserve to be,

I want to be,

I can be,

I will be,

I am.

 

If you want to change your life you need to change how you think and change what you do. Self-help, personal change, being happy: it's up to you. No-one else.

You decide. This is the first step. Self-help starts with you. Self-help and personal change starts with your realisation that it really is in your own hands, and your decision to do something about it.

Your own self-belief is the key to successful life-change, achievement, contentment, and happiness.

Your own mind, particularly positive suggestion and visualisation, will develop your self-belief, and your determination to make successful change to your life.

This page will help you begin to change the way you think, feel and act.

Visit it any time you want to boost your self-belief, to relax, and to regain control of your life and direction.

Print this page and put it above your mirror, above your bed, above your desk, anywhere you'll see it every day.

Make time - actually schedule some time in your planner or diary to do this. It will dramatically improve your mood, attitude, and approach to life, and therefore what you get from life.

Positive suggestion and visualisation, combined with deep relaxation, is an easy way to make powerful positive personal change.

Just going through this relaxation exercise alone will help to change and improve the way you feel. If you combine the relaxation techniques with a repeated script of positive statements, such as the 'I am' script below, you will begin change the way you think, and feel, and act, and all that life offers as a result.

The more you use the relaxation exercise and say or hear the script, then the greater and more sustainable will be the effect.

The time it takes to change depends on different people. Stick with it and it will become easier, more natural, more enjoyable, and it will work.

 

relaxation exercise

  1. Sit or lie down comfortably. Properly comfortably. Straighten your back, put your shoulders back to open your rib-cage.
  2. Relax your shoulder muscles particularly. Relax your whole body, and empty your mind.
  3. Close your eyes (obviously open them when you need to read the next stage).
  4. Take ten deep, slow breaths. Breathe from the pit of your stomach and feel your lungs filling.
  5. Focus on your breathing. Feel it getting deeper and slower. Feel yourself relaxing and any tension drifting away.
  6. Relax your shoulders and neck again.
  7. Visualise yourself being happy, succeeding, winning, being loved, laughing, feeling good.
  8. Relax your forehead, your mouth and your eyes.
  9. Allow a gentle smile to appear on your face as you feel a calmness enter your mind.
  10. Then say (out load ideally) the words below (a script for personal change) to yourself:
 

 

i am

I am good person.

I have integrity.

I do what is ethically right and good.

Whatever life puts before me will be useful experience that will make me stronger, wiser, and more tolerant.

I am strong enough to understand and make allowances for other people's weaknesses, and their behaviour towards me. Other people's behaviour is about them, not me.

I focus on the joy of living my life and helping others where and when I can.

I am what I eat and drink, so I eat and drink good things.

I am what I watch and play and listen, so I watch and play and listen to good positive things.

I take exercise which I enjoy. I walk when I don't need to drive or take the bus or train.

I smile and laugh whenever I can - life is good - getting caught in the rain reminds me that it is good to be alive to feel it.

I forgive other people. Deep down everyone is a good person, just like me.

I am a compassionate and loving, caring person.

I am a good person.

I am.

 


 

about relaxation, scripts and self-help

The use of scripts while in a deeply relaxed state is a ages-old method of gaining and maintaining control over our personal feelings and behaviours.

Relaxation combined with positive 'self-talk' enables self-help.

The use of scripts or strong statements while in a deeply relaxed state enables a 'conditioning' effect on our subconscious.

Changing our subconscious - our feelings and beliefs - increases our sense of calm and well-being, and also enables change in our conscious thoughts and behaviours. It's that simple.

Some people find it easier than others to relax deeply. It comes with practice.

If you find it difficult, allow yourself more time when going through the relaxation exercise. Create or put yourself into a quiet relaxing calm environment. Shut out noise and distractions. Lie down rather than sit.

When relaxing and emptying your mind it is natural for thoughts to arise - in which case simply acknowledge them gently and let them go - visualise them floating away like a balloon into the distance. Your ability to empty your mind and relax, free from thoughts, will improve with practice.

When you practice, you will increase the ease with which you can relax, and then you will find that you no longer need such a quiet environment. You will even find that you can achieve a deeply relaxed state in quite noisy stressful environments. Even sat at your desk at work.

Other methodologies and approaches refer to deep relaxation as 'meditation'. Commonly such methods are 'packaged' and surrounded by mystery or science. Don't be fooled. Anyone can do this. It's human nature, and instinctively accessible - free - to everyone.

Deep relaxation alone is good for the mind and body, without the use of scripted statements. Combining deep relaxation with good positive scripts is a powerful method of achieving greater happiness and for making positive personal change.

The use of repeating scripts (said or listened to) is ages-old as well. The principle is used in many timeless customs - some which are forces for good, others not so good - which are used to change or control feelings, including praying, chanting, singing, etc. Often these practices are combined with deep relaxation, meditation, trance, even hypnosis, again some for good aims and some not so good.

What I'm advocating here is the use of the same basic methodology - deep relaxation, combined with repeating strong statements - to achieve powerful personal change for the good, in the direction that you want.

If you are a coach or trainer you can help others with this type of personal change - see the personal change exercises ideas which use these relaxation, scripts and positive statements techniques.

 

 

using and changing scripts - what the 'i am' words mean

The 'I am' element alone is a powerful one because it embodies the sense of self-determination, which nobody and nothing can ever take away from you, and it emphasises the value of simply 'being'.

We each exist as a person of value and worth in our own right, irrespective of possessions and achievements. Accepting and reinforcing this concept is good for each of us. This, at its simplest level, is what 'I am' means.

"There is wisdom in accepting what you are. It is difficult to be what you are not. Being what you are doesn't require any effort. When you become wise, you accept yourself the way you are, and the complete acceptance of yourself becomes the complete acceptance of everyone else." (From 'The Mastery of Love' by Don Miguel Ruiz, with thanks to Allspirit.co.uk)

You can use the relaxation exercise, combined with a script, to change many aspects of your life and feelings.

You do this by adding, removing, or replacing statements in the script.

Keep the statements positive and in the present tense.

For example, if you want to be more confident, use a statement such as 'I am a confident person' rather than 'I will be a more confident person' or 'I will try to be a more confident person'.

If you want to stop smoking, use a statement such as 'I am a non-smoker, because I value my life and body' rather than 'I will try to give up smoking'.

If you do not want to give up smoking, merely to cut down, adjust the script accordingly, for example: 'I smoke only five/ten/fifteen cigarettes a day, because this is improving my health and my life' (better than smoking twenty or thirty day).

If you keep telling your sub-conscious that you 'are', then in time you will 'be'.

Use script statements that describe yourself as you want to be. Repeating positive scripts, combined with deep relaxation, will change your behaviour from deep within.

 

 

making tapes or script recordings

You can increase the ease of using scripts if you make a tape or CD recording of yourself reading your script.

You can then use the recording any time you want.

Using a recording also means you can relax completely while listening to the words, with no need to open your eyes to read.

You can also listen to your recorded script at bed-time, before you go to sleep every night, which is also an effective way to reach and change your sub-conscious feelings.

 

be assured...

Most people judge themselves against entirely artificial criteria. Material success is not what life is about.

You can change your frame of reference. You do not have to accept a frame of reference that others have given you.

Many of the most materially 'successful' people are deeply unhappy, yet they strive and search (unsuccessfully) even harder for more material success.

Most ordinary good, honest 'being' people are fooled into believing that what they have is not worth anything. Don't be fooled.

The answer to happiness and fulfilment is usually found in achieving a simple acceptance of, and joy of living, a good life.

Enjoy 'being' and living a good life.

Next time you get caught in the rain, or bump the car, or get a headache - enjoy being alive to feel it and experience it.

 

(With acknowledgements to Carole Byrd and Buddha Maitreya.)



see also


browse categories


The use of this material is free provided copyright (see below) is acknowledged and reference or link is made to the www.businessballs.com website. This material may not be sold, or published in any form. Disclaimer: Reliance on information, material, advice, or other linked or recommended resources, received from Alan Chapman, shall be at your sole risk, and Alan Chapman assumes no responsibility for any errors, omissions, or damages arising. Users of this website are encouraged to confirm information received with other sources, and to seek local qualified advice if embarking on any actions that could carry personal or organisational liabilities. Managing people and relationships are sensitive activities; the free material and advice available via this website do not provide all necessary safeguards and checks. Please retain this notice on all copies.

© alan chapman 2002-2009