Cherie Carter-Scott PhD is a very modern guru. Her theories explain our attitudes and behaviour with a special clarity, and provide a practical guide to behaviour and self development. Dr Carter-Scott achieved her PhD in human and organisational development and for the nearly 30 years has been an international lecturer, consultant and author. She founded the MMS (Motivation Management Service) Institute and has been called a guardian angel to CEO's. Carter-Scott's 1998 book 'If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules' is essential reading if you are interested in behaviour, relationships, communications, and human personality. The 'Rules For Being Human' provide a map for understanding and pursuing personal development, and for helping others to understand and develop too.
'If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules' is also a commonly recommended and referenced book in the life-coaching industry, and in many other areas concerned with self-esteem, self-development and personal fulfilment.
You may see, or have seen in the past, 'The Ten Rules For Being Human' copied and circulated in various formats with 'Anonymous' attribution. This understandably sometimes causes Carter-Scott's authorship of the Rules to be doubted. It is, therefore, appropriate to offer the following additional information:
Cherie Carter-Scott's rules for life - also known as 'The Ten Rules For Being Human' - were referenced significantly, and initially anonymously, by Jack Canfield in 'Chicken Soup For The Soul', until Canfield discovered the origins. As Canfield explains in his Foreward written for 'If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules', "...When we included the Rules for Being Human by 'Anonymous' in Chicken Soup for the Soul®, I had no idea that Cherie was the author. When I learned that she was the author of the rules I was delighted and yet not surprised..."
Carter-Scott herself explains later in the Preface (to 'If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules') that, "...In the past twenty-four years, the Rules for Being Human have circled the globe - photocopied and passed from friend to friend, transmitted via the internet, printed on brochures and on page 81 in the book Jack Canfield wrote, Chicken Soup for the Soul®, where the Rules were attributed to 'Anonymous'. One day Jack called to say he'd heard from Dan Millman, the author of The Way of the Peaceful Warrior, that I was the author of the Rules for Being Human. Jack asked if that was true. When I acknowledged that I was, Jack apologised and offered to give me credit in the next printing..."'
Aside from those short extracts, Dr Carter-Scott's book, 'If Life is a Game, These are the Rules', also further explains that Cherie Carter-Scott developed the 'Rules' quite a long time before her book was published in 1998, specifically during the mid-1970s, while in the process of designing a three month training program for consultants learning how to deliver her 'Inner Negotiation/Self-Esteem Workshop' and related teachings.
Here is a brief summary and explanation of Cherie Carter-Scott's 'Rules for Being Human'.
"Life is a succession of lessons which must be lived to be understood." - Helen Keller
Rule One - You will receive a body. Whether you love it or hate it, it's yours for life, so accept it. What counts is what's inside.
Rule Two - You will be presented with lessons. Life is a constant learning experience, which every day provides opportunities for you to learn more. These lessons specific to you, and learning them 'is the key to discovering and fulfilling the meaning and relevance of your own life'.
Rule Three - There are no mistakes, only lessons. Your development towards wisdom is a process of experimentation, trial and error, so it's inevitable things will not always go to plan or turn out how you'd want. Compassion is the remedy for harsh judgement - of ourselves and others. Forgiveness is not only divine - it's also 'the act of erasing an emotional debt'. Behaving ethically, with integrity, and with humour - especially the ability to laugh at yourself and your own mishaps - are central to the perspective that 'mistakes' are simply lessons we must learn.
Rule Four - The lesson is repeated until learned. Lessons repeat until learned. What manifest as problems and challenges, irritations and frustrations are more lessons - they will repeat until you see them as such and learn from them. Your own awareness and your ability to change are requisites of executing this rule. Also fundamental is the acceptance that you are not a victim of fate or circumstance - 'causality' must be acknowledged; that is to say: things happen to you because of how you are and what you do. To blame anyone or anything else for your misfortunes is an escape and a denial; you yourself are responsible for you, and what happens to you. Patience is required - change doesn't happen overnight, so give change time to happen.
Rule Five - Learning does not end. While you are alive there are always lessons to be learned. Surrender to the 'rhythm of life', don't struggle against it. Commit to the process of constant learning and change - be humble enough to always acknowledge your own weaknesses, and be flexible enough to adapt from what you may be accustomed to, because rigidity will deny you the freedom of new possibilities.
Rule Six - "There" is no better than "here". The other side of the hill may be greener than your own, but being there is not the key to endless happiness. Be grateful for and enjoy what you have, and where you are on your journey. Appreciate the abundance of what's good in your life, rather than measure and amass things that do not actually lead to happiness. Living in the present helps you attain peace.
Rule Seven - Others are only mirrors of you. You love or hate something about another person according to what love or hate about yourself. Be tolerant; accept others as they are, and strive for clarity of self-awareness; strive to truly understand and have an objective perception of your own self, your thoughts and feelings. Negative experiences are opportunities to heal the wounds that you carry. Support others, and by doing so you support yourself. Where you are unable to support others it is a sign that you are not adequately attending to your own needs.
Rule Eight - What you make of your life is up to you. You have all the tools and resources you need. What you do with them is up to you. Take responsibility for yourself. Learn to let go when you cannot change things. Don't get angry about things - bitter memories clutter your mind. Courage resides in all of us - use it when you need to do what's right for you. We all possess a strong natural power and adventurous spirit, which you should draw on to embrace what lies ahead.
Rule Nine -Your answers lie inside of you. Trust your instincts and your innermost feelings, whether you hear them as a little voice or a flash of inspiration. Listen to feelings as well as sounds. Look, listen, and trust. Draw on your natural inspiration.
Rule Ten -You will forget all this at birth. We are all born with all of these capabilities - our early experiences lead us into a physical world, away from our spiritual selves, so that we become doubtful, cynical and lacking belief and confidence. The ten Rules are not commandments, they are universal truths that apply to us all. When you lose your way, call upon them. Have faith in the strength of your spirit. Aspire to be wise - wisdom the ultimate path of your life, and it knows no limits other than those you impose on yourself.
This summary is merely a brief outline and simply does not do the book justice, nor the wisdom within it. If you are interested in making the most of your life, and helping others do the same, buy Cherie Carter-Scott's book 'If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules'.
Businessballs does not receive a commission for recommending these books - buy from any bookseller you like.
Such a simple little book, with so much common sense about how to get the best out of yourself and life in general. In a cynical world, the teachings of books like these do much to encourage truly grown up, giving, behaviour.
Companion book to the rules of life. As with the rules of life book, most readers will say it changes their outlook forever.
More information at Cherie Carter Scott's website.
'If Life Is A Game, These Are The Rules' and the structures within it are the intellectual property of Cherie Carter-Scott. No attempt is made here to exploit it - merely to review and inform. With thanks to Carole Byrd, who reminded me of Cherie Carter-Scott's wonderful principles.
- CAREER OR BUSINESS START-UP/DIRECTION PLANNER
- WRITING A CURRICULUM VITAE (CV)
- CYBERNETICS - SCIENCE OF COMMUNICATIONS AND CONTROL WITHIN SYSTEMS
- DANCE AND DANCING
- ELISABETH KUBLER-ROSS - FIVE STAGES OF GRIEF
- GOAL PLANNING
- ASSERTIVENESS TECHNIQUES AND SELF-CONFIDENCE
- "I AM" - A SCRIPT FOR SELF-HELP AND PERSONAL CHANGE
- LIFE BALANCE
- PAY RISES AND SALARY INCREASES
- PERSONAL CHANGE STAGES - JOHN FISHER
- REFLECTIVE PRACTICE
- STRESS AND STRESS MANAGEMENT
- TIME MANAGEMENT TECHNIQUES, FREE TOOLS AND TEMPLATES